Understanding the fight, flight, and freeze responses is only part of the picture—many trauma survivors also experience lesser-known responses like fawn and collapse. While fight and flight are more active survival strategies, fawn and collapse often develop in response to chronic or inescapable trauma, such as childhood neglect or abusive relationships.
In this part, we’ll explore how these responses develop and the lasting effects they can have on your sense of self and relationships. More importantly, we’ll dive into how to break free from survival mode by healing the nervous system. Through somatic techniques, neuroplasticity, and vagal toning, you can begin to rewire these automatic responses and reclaim emotional balance. Healing is possible, and with the right tools, you can move beyond survival and into a life of true safety and empowerment.
Lesser-Known Responses – Fawn and Collapse
While the fight, flight, and freeze responses are widely recognized, there are two additional trauma responses that are less discussed but equally impactful—the fawn and collapse responses. These survival mechanisms often develop in long-term, relational, or developmental trauma, particularly when a person has had to adapt to unsafe environments for extended periods.
These responses are rooted in nervous system dysregulation and can shape a survivor’s sense of self, relationships, and emotional well-being.
1. The Fawn Response – Survival Through People-Pleasing
The fawn response is a trauma adaptation where a person subconsciously prioritizes the needs, emotions, and expectations of others over their own to avoid conflict, gain approval, or ensure safety. Instead of fighting or fleeing, they learn that the best way to survive is to be agreeable, accommodating, and self-sacrificing.
How It Manifests in Trauma Survivors:
Chronic People-Pleasing: Automatically agreeing with others, even when it goes against personal beliefs or desires.
Fear of Conflict or Disapproval: Feeling extreme anxiety at the thought of upsetting others or setting boundaries.
Difficulty Saying No: Overcommitting, overextending, or feeling guilty for prioritizing oneself.
Hyper-Attunement to Others' Needs: Constantly scanning the emotional climate of a room, anticipating what others need before they express it.
Low Self-Identity: A tendency to lose oneself in relationships, struggling to define personal desires, goals, or boundaries.
Why It Develops:
Childhood Trauma: If a caregiver was emotionally volatile, distant, or abusive, a child may learn that staying small and compliant is the safest way to receive love or avoid harm.
Abusive Relationships: Many survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, or manipulative relationships develop the fawn response as a defense against emotional or physical retaliation.
Chronic Bullying or Social Rejection: Individuals who faced rejection or criticism growing up may default to fawning as a way to avoid exclusion or humiliation.
The Hidden Cost of the Fawn Response:
While fawning may temporarily prevent conflict, it leads to:
Emotional Exhaustion: Constantly catering to others leaves no energy for self-care.
Resentment & Burnout: Over time, suppressing personal needs leads to frustration, exhaustion, and even chronic illness.
Inability to Form Authentic Relationships: If a person is always adapting to others, their true self remains hidden, leading to shallow or unfulfilling connections.
Healing the Fawn Response:
Practicing Boundaries: Learning to say “no” without guilt and recognizing that self-care is not selfish.
Inner Child Work: Identifying the root cause of why fawning developed and gently reprogramming self-worth.
Somatic Therapy: Engaging in practices like body awareness, breathwork, and vagal toning to calm the nervous system when setting boundaries feels triggering.
2. The Collapse Response – When the Body Shuts Down Completely
The collapse response is an extreme form of the freeze response, where the nervous system completely shuts down due to overwhelming stress, chronic trauma, or a history of feeling powerless.
Rather than fight or flee, the body surrenders, leading to chronic fatigue, dissociation, depression, and a deep sense of helplessness.
How It Manifests in Trauma Survivors:
Extreme Fatigue & Low Energy: Feeling persistently exhausted, even after rest.
Depression & Emotional Numbness: A sense of hopelessness, apathy, or a lack of motivation to engage in life.
Inability to Advocate for Oneself: Struggling to speak up, set boundaries, or assert personal needs.
Feeling Powerless & Stuck: A belief that nothing will ever change, leading to passivity or self-abandonment.
Postural Collapse: A tendency to slump, shrink, or make oneself physically smaller as a subconscious expression of defeat.
Why It Develops:
Severe or Prolonged Trauma: If a person has experienced inescapable trauma (e.g., childhood abuse, long-term emotional neglect, sexual assault), the nervous system may adapt by shutting down completely.
Learned Helplessness: If past attempts to fight or flee were met with failure or punishment, a person may unconsciously stop trying to change their circumstances.
Chronic Stress or Burnout: Long-term emotional, financial, or physical exhaustion can push the nervous system into collapse as a way to conserve energy.
The Neurobiological Basis of Collapse:
The dorsal vagal complex (part of the parasympathetic nervous system) triggers shutdown when the body perceives no possibility of escape.
This leads to low heart rate, reduced metabolism, and decreased nervous system activation, causing feelings of fatigue, numbness, and disconnection.
Collapse is often linked to dissociation, where the mind disconnects from the present moment to avoid pain.
The Hidden Cost of the Collapse Response:
Missed Opportunities & Stagnation: Feeling too powerless to take action can keep survivors trapped in unfulfilling jobs, toxic relationships, or unhealthy habits.
Chronic Health Issues: The nervous system dysregulation from collapse can contribute to autoimmune diseases, digestive problems, and chronic fatigue syndrome.
Loss of Self-Worth: The belief that "nothing will change" can erode self-confidence, ambition, and hope for the future.
Healing the Collapse Response:
Engaging the Nervous System Slowly: Gentle, low-intensity movement (e.g., walking, stretching, trauma-sensitive yoga) helps awaken the body without overwhelming it.
Small, Manageable Actions: Breaking tasks into tiny steps can help rebuild a sense of control and agency.
Therapeutic Support: Modalities like Somatic Experiencing, Polyvagal Therapy, and EMDR can help rewire the nervous system for safety and empowerment.
The fawn and collapse responses are just as valid and real as fight, flight, and freeze—but they are often misunderstood because they appear as passivity, people-pleasing, or disengagement rather than active resistance.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step in breaking free from survival-based coping mechanisms. With self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and trauma-informed healing approaches, survivors can move from fear-driven reactions to conscious, empowered choices.
Breaking Free from Survival Mode – Healing the Nervous System
Survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and collapse are deeply embedded in the nervous system—they are not conscious choices but automatic reactions to perceived threats. However, just as trauma reshapes the nervous system to stay stuck in hypervigilance or shutdown, healing can rewire these responses to create a sense of safety, resilience, and emotional balance.
This section explores scientifically-backed techniques that help trauma survivors regulate their nervous system, retrain their brain’s threat response, and rebuild a sense of control over their emotions and body.
1. Somatic Healing – Regulating the Nervous System Through the Body
Since trauma is stored not just in the mind but in the body, somatic (body-based) techniques are essential in breaking free from survival mode. These practices gently retrain the nervous system to shift from fear and dissociation to safety and presence.
Vagal Toning – Activating the Body’s Calming Mechanism
The vagus nerve plays a key role in regulating the nervous system. When strengthened, it helps shift the body from fight-or-flight into a relaxed state (the parasympathetic response).
Vagal toning exercises include:
Humming & Chanting: The vibration stimulates the vagus nerve, promoting calmness.
Cold Exposure: Splashing cold water on the face or taking a cold shower activates the vagus nerve and lowers stress responses.
Slow, Rhythmic Breathing: Extending the exhale (e.g., 4-7-8 breathing) signals to the brain that it is safe to relax.
Breathwork – Rewiring the Stress Response
Trauma survivors often breathe shallowly or erratically, reinforcing survival mode. Conscious breathwork can overridestress patterns and regulate the nervous system.
Techniques include:
Box Breathing (4-4-4-4): Inhale, hold, exhale, and pause for four counts each to reset the nervous system.
Diaphragmatic Breathing: Deep belly breathing signals to the brain that the danger has passed.
Coherent Breathing (5-6 breaths per minute): Synchronizing the heart and breath to reduce hypervigilance.
Grounding Techniques – Reconnecting with the Present
Trauma often causes dissociation or emotional numbness. Grounding exercises help survivors feel safe in their bodies again.
Simple grounding techniques:
5-4-3-2-1 Method: Identifying five things you see, four things you touch, three sounds you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste to reconnect with the present.
Sensory Anchors: Holding an object (a stone, fabric, or ice cube) to redirect focus from fear to reality.
Walking Barefoot: Feeling the ground beneath your feet stimulates nerve endings, creating a sense of security.
2. Retraining the Brain’s Threat Response – The Power of Neuroplasticity
The brain is not fixed—it can rewire itself. This process, known as neuroplasticity, allows trauma survivors to train their brains to respond differently to triggers and reshape thought patterns that keep them stuck in survival mode.
Mindfulness – Teaching the Brain to Pause Instead of React
Mindfulness is one of the most effective ways to change the brain’s response to stress. It increases prefrontal cortex activation, which allows for rational decision-making instead of automatic fear responses.
Mindfulness techniques for trauma survivors:
Body Scanning: Bringing awareness to each body part to gently release tension.
Observing Without Reacting: Noticing emotions and thoughts without judgment, reducing emotional overwhelm.
Orienting to Safety: Looking around the room and identifying objects of safety to train the brain to see the present as non-threatening.
Self-Compassion – Rewiring Trauma-Based Beliefs
Survivors often blame themselves for their responses (“Why can’t I just move on?”). Self-compassion rewires the brain by replacing shame-based narratives with kindness.
Steps to develop self-compassion:
Acknowledge the Pain: Validate past trauma without minimizing its impact.
Speak Kindly to Yourself: Replace inner criticism with statements like, “I did what I had to do to survive.”
Practice Self-Soothing: Engage in comforting actions (e.g., placing a hand on your heart, wrapping yourself in a blanket).
Exposure Therapy – Gently Rebuilding Tolerance for Triggers
Avoidance reinforces trauma. Exposure therapy helps retrain the brain to face triggers in small, manageable steps.
Example:
If crowded spaces trigger anxiety, a person might start by visualizing a crowd, then standing in a quiet public place, and slowly working up to larger social settings.
Over time, the brain stops perceiving these situations as threats.
3. Polyvagal Theory – Strengthening the Nervous System for Emotional Balance
Polyvagal theory explains why some people stay stuck in trauma responses and how strengthening the vagus nervecan help them regain emotional stability.
Three States of the Nervous System (Polyvagal Theory):
Sympathetic (Fight/Flight): The body is mobilized for survival—fast heart rate, shallow breathing, heightened anxiety.
Dorsal Vagal (Freeze/Collapse): The body shuts down—fatigue, numbness, depression, dissociation.
Ventral Vagal (Safety & Connection): The nervous system is regulated—calm, present, able to form meaningful relationships.
How to Strengthen the Vagus Nerve to Shift Into the "Safe Zone":
Social Connection: Engaging in safe, positive interactions activates the ventral vagal state.
Laughter & Singing: Both stimulate the vagus nerve and increase feel-good neurotransmitters.
Rhythmic Movement: Walking, dancing, or rocking help the body reset from a dysregulated state.
4. The Role of Safe Relationships in Reprogramming Survival Responses
Trauma often occurs in relationships, and healing must also happen in relationships. The nervous system is wired for co-regulation, meaning being around safe, supportive people helps rewire trauma responses.
How Safe Relationships Help Heal Trauma:
Regulating the Nervous System: When a calm, grounded person models emotional regulation, the brain learns to mirror that state.
Rebuilding Trust: Experiencing consistent, safe connections teaches the brain that not all people are threats.
Providing a New Blueprint for Connection: Healthy relationships replace past patterns of abandonment, fear, or control with trust, safety, and emotional intimacy.
Signs of a Safe Relationship for Trauma Recovery:
They respect boundaries.
They don’t rush emotional processing.
They create a nonjudgmental space for vulnerability.
They allow you to express emotions without fear of rejection.
Healing the nervous system is not about “fixing” trauma responses—it’s about teaching the body and brain that safety exists again.
By incorporating somatic techniques, neuroplasticity-based interventions, polyvagal exercises, and safe relationships, trauma survivors can shift out of survival mode and into a life of emotional balance, resilience, and empowerment.
The next step is integrating these healing tools into daily life to create lasting transformation.
Healing from trauma is a journey, but it is one that you don’t have to walk alone. By understanding your body’s survival responses and using tools like somatic healing, polyvagal regulation, and self-compassion, you can begin to rewire your nervous system and reclaim your sense of safety. Trauma may have shaped your past, but it does not have to define your future.
If you’re ready to take the next step, consider working with a professional who can guide you through this process. True healing isn’t just about managing symptoms—it’s about transforming the way you relate to yourself and the world around you.